Coast to Coast (Part 2)

DAY FOUR
Tuesday. Kirby Stephen Youth Hostel.

We are at the very excellent Kirby Stephen youth hostel. It’s “mint” as Ben F stated. Why? Firstly it’s an old church and I am now sat in the chapel with pews for seats for eating, and the area under the balcony is a kitchen. It’s quite wonderful. The landlady Clare is lovely too. What a pity this place is one of those closing in October.

We are also in the middle of the town, and right opposite a Co-op, so we’ve been able to get over there to buy food (and beer) for dinner.

Ben S is being team cook and we are having spag bog with extras. Marvellous.

Our journey here:
Town End to Kirby Stephen (36 miles: 19 off road).
Passes: Garburn, 1475 feet. Verdict: excellent. Good climb – mostly rideable and (yet)another rocky horror high excitement descent. Stile End: Short and sweet, nice descent again, and thus took us into Longsleddale which looked stunning but the track turned into a real monster ascent. Ben S amused himself by nailing parts of it, but mostly it was a ‘too steep to think about riding’ job. Stunning situation, mind.

This took us up to Brownhowe Bottom and a traverse across some boggy moorland towards Mosedale. This was extremely hard work and despite best efforts we all ended up with wet feet. Ben F managed to go over his bars again but this time landed safely in a bog.
[We did see a large bird of prey disappear into some trees in front of us at one point along here and I’m convinced it was a red kite.]
Eventually we arrived at the supremely isolated Mosedale cottage where luncheon was taken (we had bought packed lunches from Windermere hostel which were great).

Then we had a seemingly endless undulating yomp across another fucking great moor…. did a bit of road and at some point landed at Shap – all absolutely knackered.

We found a top newsagent which provided excellent take away teas which we were able to down whilst lounging in the grass in a park just opposite. We were all, as one, wishing that we’d finished for the day, but we still had 18 miles to go! Jo was begging for drugs: EPO in particular, but had to make do with Nurofen for her knackered knees (body in general). 2:30 we arrived there and 3:15 we left.

Fortunately the remaining mileage was mainly on minor roads and we were able to crack it off in a couple of hours, with some undulation once again. One real off road drag up a big field up to Bank Moor, some seriously fast road descents and a lot of tired legs.

A complete change of scenery as we went though – from the rocks and crag of the Lakes to the fields and meadows of the Vale of Eden once we’d crossed the M6. But, we rode triumphantly into K.Stephen at about 5:30pm.

Jo’s “mad woman” slept with her suitcase apparently. The lads mucked about loudly in their dorm – much more loudly than the 40 school kids it has to be said. It was too hot and no one slept well at all.

Jo states that the Windermere hostel is extremely poor: v.small rooms for instance; expensive for what you got (especially when you are paying extra for breakfast) and generally not very good.

Mention should be made of just how HARD this C2C route is. Technically very demanding and physically it’s just plain bloody hard work with long days in the saddle. Great stuff though.

This Youth Hostel, would you believe, has a full Park bike tool kit for our use – and most of it brand new: still in it’s packets. There is also a Park bike stand in the shed: hundreds of quid’s worth of premium quality tech kit – not being used. Except by us. The bikes are all stabled after having had a much needed thorough clean and Park tooled maintenance session.

Suntans and white bits are being compared. Looks like everyone will end up with the standard cyclist’s tan which starts just above the sock line and ends half way up one’s thigh where the lycra starts.

Jon:
Jon’s arse trouble got slightly better today with the use of Andy’s lycra shorts and minty arse lard – which required Jon to drop his pants mid-ride and re-apply. Managed to find some new cream in the Coop over the road. [Note a £2.50 tub of kids’ Sudocream does the job just as well as a £12 tube of specialist cyclists’ stuff.]

There’s a chap staying here who’s WALKING Land’s End to John O’Groats. How come, when you are doing these things which you reckon are personal epics there’s always some twat who’s doing so much more and manages to put your efforts in the shade. Git.

Yesterday in the Lakes was an utterly fabulous day out biking. The trouble is we do SO much each day that it’s impossible to remember it all. The climbs [in the Lakes] are long and hard (often carries/pushes – “grunts”) and the downhills are rock strewn, chossy, steep, fast, dangerous and wildly fun. And there’s just loads of them. Yesterday seemed like a mountain bike perfection day. A ‘best of’ the Lakes and all done in fantastic weather with no technicals – not even a puncture. I guess we (bikers) aim for those big ‘moments’ where it’s just sheer joy/lunacy - a mountain biking high - “endorphin city”. There’s been a lot of that on this trip already. There’s also the team element where the experience is multiplied by the knowledge that everyone else is going through exactly the same thing and you are all in this madness together. Difficult to put into words to be honest but whatever it is it’s incredible and a day like yesterday really is what makes us all do this thing.

Oh, by the way, Christian’s ankle isn’t broken – just badly sprained and will take a mere 2 weeks to heal up. He’s been on the phone and texted a few times. He must be absolutely gutted, the poor sod.

DAY FIVE
Wednesday. Springfield House B&B Reeth, Swaledale

Another monster day on the bikes, but I guess that goes without saying really. The welcome here at the B&B – tea and scones with home made jam – was brilliant. Jo is just down the road in a different place and without tea and scones.

There’s a double and a twin so we drew straws for the beds – or rather (in fine mountain biker stylee) we drew sunglasses lenses out of a waste paper bin. Ben S and I got the clear ones so we get the twin room, leaving the other guys the double bed.

We are just off to see if Jo is ready to come out to play – we are off to the pub.

Black Bull Pub
No one has had the “Grunt & Granny” sandwich (hot pork and apple sauce). This obviously would have been the entirely appropriate option, but we’ve gone en masse instead for the more filling looking giant Yorkshire pud with beef casserole and chips. Yum.

The Ride:
Cheeky footpath out of KS and then 6 miles v.quick on road. Then some bridleway, followed by “The Field of Doom” or “Bog of Tufty Doom” on a none existent bridleway over tall grassy, shitey, hugely uneven moorland. As usual for that type of terrain it was very hard work, but at least it was dry.

Next up was a road grunt up to the famous (“Highest Pub in Britain”) and remarkable Tan Hill Inn where there was a St George’s Cross painted pet sheep called “Tan” who lounged by the fire and let people stroke him. Honest. Tan is usually a scrounging pest by all accounts, but he was on good behaviour today and therefore allowed to stay indoors. Great pub: ridiculous location.

Met a couple of roadie tourers doing a coast to coast from Barrow to Sunderland and swapped a few tales over a cup of tea, shandies, soup etc. Most pleasant.

Next up was the Pennine Way with a distinct lack of downhill and two punctures. Eventually we got some excellent downhill and a fabulous track into Swaledale (Gunnerside) along the valley where we passed some walkers in fine speedy style, and then had the indignity of them walking past us while we fixed a puncture. “Hair and tortoise” comments were heard from them as they smugly sauntered past. All manner of threats were then heard from us by way of nasty physical and verbal revenge after they’d got out of ear shot – but we didn’t lower ourselves in the end.

Beautiful Swaledale bridleway by the river and then… a bastard long climb of 1000ft or so up to Apedale. We were all utterly wasted, especially our Jo, but heroics won through and she got top the top. Then there was an exiting downhill … another big climb. Ben F and Jo were right out at their limit by this point, but Kendal Mint Cake this time was our saviour – that and some Eccles cakes.

We arrived in lovely Reeth about 6 pm, almost minus Ben S who was So close to hitting a BMW on the final narrow road descent into the village – down which we were all really motoring it has to be said.

Oh, the food... Lovely but done and dusted in about 15 minutes. Extra potatoes demanded by all. It should be noted that for the morning John has ordered a half arsed breakfast. While the rest of the boys go for the full English J opts for an, ahem, bacon fucking sandwich. Mr B&B, it should be said, was not impressed by this – insulted, even.

Technical report: Ben F’s rear hub fixed by myself: bearings replaced. His rear brake is still rubbing a bit though.

Maps of next couple of days being scrutinised. Tomorrow looks like a relative rest day – handy as we just HAVE to get to Osmotherly for a 4pm kick off for some England game or other. The day after in the N.Yorks Moors however looks like an utter twat.

9:50 Black Bull Pub. Still.
The darts in the pub are broken but we have showed Swaledale how to play pool. Sort of. Germany have just dumped Poland out of the World Cup. Pool table and juke box to ourselves and “Perfect Day” plays on the jukey.

DAY 6
Thursday Osmotherley. Pub 4:30 PM.

England’s second World Cup finals match is due to start in half an hour.

Bit of a rest day today as it was mainly roadie-ing across the flat bit between the Pennines and the North Yorks Moors. Osmotherley is not far from the A19, nestled just under the west side of the latter set of hills.

We arrived about an hour ago and almost made it here without much incident. But, there’s a very shallow (and mossy) ford on the road about half a mile from the village and Ben S managed to off going across it and hit the road in the water very hard indeed. No real harm done luckily – just a few bruises and a hold in the back of his shorts. But it was a painful one.

Oh, and we also had a puncture-fest a few miles back after having done a bit of ‘extra’ bridle path across the edge of a field, which resulted in everyone bar John getting at least one puncture. The annoying thing was we’d done the field and all sat down in the sun for a break and discovered a couple of flats when we went to get back on the bikes. Then everyone checked their tyres to find all manner of enormous thorns in them. So, team puncture fixing ensued and we almost got run down by a miserable post van driver. Twice.

We did do some off roading this morning, out of Swaledale and round the side of a valley down into Richmond. A rare pit stop in civilisation enabled the use of cash points, Greggs and a grocers. It should be noted the Jo is done in after the excesses of yesterday’s gradients – she missed out the off road bit this morning and took the road option into Richmond, heading straight for a tea shop. She was most pleased that it was an easy day, but is threatening to dip out again tomorrow over some of the tops. We hope she manages to keep to The Route [She did].

Our mantra: The Route is the Way, and the Way is the Route.

We have an influx of intruders on the tour this evening: Jenny and Ed are coming up from Leeds for the evening, and these two it seems are seeing Ben and Jo respectively. Which is nice.

Osmotherley is another lovely village. Reeth was beautiful too – real picture postcard locations. We have seen a lot of these lovely little places on this trip.

Weather today: Very hot: a lot of sun. Good job we weren’t in the hills really.

6:55 and England have just won 2-0. They were not entirely convincing it has to be said.